My Pet Kaiba
by Melampus
Summary: Presenting the hot new line up of Duel Monsters! Each MiniPet sold separately. Some KaiJou.
1. Prologue: De Nile

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Gi Oh. Darn! I also don't make nor do I intend to make profit out of this story.

Warnings: This is KaiJou. A very light KaiJou…. You could probably miss it if you really want to. Humor/Romance. Language.

Note: This story/ plot has been inspired by those wonderful artists who drew Kaiba with a chibi-Jou and vice versa. Without them, the light bulb on my head would never have gone off.

Note2: I was on crack when I did this. Just wanted WAFF… hahahaha

* * *

**Prologue**

No.

Oh No.

OH HELL NO!!!

NoNoNonononononononononononononooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

But as much as Jounouchi denied it, reality had already jumped up and took a rather large chunk right out his ass.

There it was, as plain as the nose on his face, the patented Kaiba "I-am-so-much-better-than-you" sneer. He couldn't be anything but the poised, arrogant CEO; from the ramrod straight posture, to the crossed arms clasped in silver bands, to the mega-flaring white trench-coat and belt buckles adorning his body EXCEPT where he needed them most; from that nasty scowl and finally those piercing blue eyes.

Yup. It was none other that one Kaiba Seto.

The only difference?

This version was no bigger than Jou's fore finger.


	2. Curses!

**Standard Disclaimers Apply**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

The blond twitched.

This was impossible! Improbable!

Jou sat in that plushy seat, giving stare for stare. The little chibi was glaring him down… from where he stood in the palm of Jou's hand.

So focused was he that the din from the Duel Monster's Convention faded into the background. He didn't even notice that raving fans had gathered around him. Some were curious as to what mini-pet he got, some were chuckling at his misfortune, while the majority (most of which were female) was screaming for his head to be lopped off and served on a silver dinner plate.

Apparently, the Kaiba mini-pet was the only one of its kind.

Jounouchi rolled his eyes. It wasn't as if he wanted the damn thing. Dammit! There must be at least a gajillion Duel Monsters and he had to end up with that…. That….urk….!

A girl glomped unto his free arm and gushed. "You're so luck-eeeeeeeee! Kaiba-sama is soooooo cuuuuu-ute!"

Luck?! The blond duelist thought. If THIS is luck I'd rather jump in a lake filled with flesh-eating piranhas. What the HELL am I supposed to do with this?! He gave an inward grimace. Sure, Kaiba was about as cute as diaper rashes. Smell the sarcasm people!

He contemplated throwing it away, but the convention hosts had raised quite a large sum of money to give him and other top Domino duelists these gifts.

He could give it to someone else. Although he did risk hurting the feelings of those who gave mini-Kaiba to him…

… Hmmm. But what if he sold it? Judging from Kaiba fan girl reactions who could acquire a hefty sum…. He only had to wait a few days before he'd get rid of the little devil incarnate on E-bay.

Or, he could always curse Pegasus J. Crawford, for letting his company come through with the revolutionary bio- cybernetic Mini-pets (but Yami had divulged that it also contained a hefty amount of Egyptian curses and charms) and for obtaining certain figureheads' permission to make a chibi of themselves.

Yes. Yes. That was a glorious idea. He knew he had a "Voodoo for Dummies" somewhere in his apartment. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. He'd make a Pegasus doll, steal a few silver hairs and stick the character with pins and needles!!!!

His malicious thoughts were interrupted by Yugi's happy crowing. "Jou-kun. I got a mini-Dark Magician. What did you get??!! Lemme see!!"

"No way…." Jou muttered under his breath. He snatched chibi-Kaiba by the collar of his chibi neck and brought him close to his face. "You! You are NOT gonna gimme sass ya got that?! We're outta here!!"

His response? A stealthy kick on his poor defenseless nose.

* * *

God what a mini-meanie! Jou though as he eyed the apparently VERY stuck up chibi-Kaiba, who was in the current process of sitting meticulously on an upturned cup, arms over his chest and head tilted away from the blond as though he had bathed in questionable things all his life. 

He got the impression that the little bugger sniffed at him and he was THIS close to flicking the snot out of his seat.

He licked his lips at the image of the chibi-bastard sucking face with the hardwood table of his kitchenette. But first… he rubbed his aching nose.

Must ignore homicidal tendencies…. He chanted in his head. He whirled around trying to find something to do. He wanted to be occupied lest he bash chibi-Kaiba with a hammer. He spied the manual that he had carelessly thrown on the living room table when he'd arrive in a puff of smoke.

Hmmm… might as well as read this.

Ignoring chibi-Kaiba, he plopped on his antiquated but clean sofa and rifled through.

_CONGRATULATIONS!!_

_Dear Owner,_

_You have received one of 8 Special editions of Chibi Duel Monsters; Kaiba Seto. Your pet is different from all other chibi-monsters, so standards cleaning procedures, emotions and reactions are unique and do not apply to any other Mini-pet. _

Jou snerked. The Great Kaiba Seto. His pet….. it made him want to break out the special salsa he made, buy corn chips and a soda and do a million happy dances.

He scanned through the little booklet quickly.

"Needs to eat once a day, drinking…. Bathing…. Yadda yadda…. Does not need to relieve self…. Sleeps…Does not speak but gestures (refer to 3rd chapter for more information)… Blah blah….. hmmm….. '_How to tell what your Chibi-Monster is feeling'"_

The title made the blonde curious.

…_. This model has a range of emotions, patented after its human counterpart. _

Don't you mean lack of them? Thought Jou as he glanced at chibi-Kaiba who was still sitting pristinely on the tea cup.

…_Since your pet cannot speak, we have designed a new empathy system that will be its 'program language'. For example if your chibi pet smiles, he is happy; it is sad if it cries and so on. The following are the lists of standard emotions, which may or may not be demonstrated by the special model depending on who it is modeled after. Its equivalent action may also be performed._

Great…. If this is right, the thing will gimme three emotions: glare, evil glare and super evil death glare! A chuckle then a groan.

_Points to mouth or tummy- hungry; pats throat- thirsty; smiles-happy; cries-sad/hurt; reaches out arms-wishes to be given affection; stomps foot-angry; points to object or person- wants to get close/manipulate/use object/person._

_The above mentioned items are basic, but do NOT exhibit the full capabilities of your new chibi. We leave it up to you to discover. Good luck!_

The manual was dropped back on the table.

Marvelous. Stupendous. Great.

The stench of his favorite weapon filled the air.

Jou approached the little guy, knelt on the kitchenette floor and stared at Chibi-Kaiba. "Look, if yer anythin' like the real di-… Kaiba, I know ya probably hate my guts and ya wish ya had yer mansion, but ya lucked out to end up wit' me. So you can either make it difficult for yerself or not. C'n I call ya Chibi-Seto?"

The thing glared at him and shook its tiny fist in Jou's face.

"Ok, ok." The blond said with a laugh. He didn't need a book to translate that. "Chibi-Kaiba then." He stood up and looked up at his wall clock. "It's nearly evenin'… I suppose I cud fetch a walnut to let ya sleep in, Thumbellina…"

There was a stomp of a foot.

"Kidding, kidding. Peace. Waitaminit, I have an idea." Jou mumbled. "Got left over wood from shop class… plus a few nails and screws. Wait here while I measure ya."

* * *

Note: snerk sneer + smirk 


	3. A New Discovery!

AN: Hey guys! I'm back with the crack! (I even made a rhyme! weee XD) Welcome to the next installment of MPK. I'm here to remind you that Standard Disclaimer still APPLY! Watch out for Jou's potty mouth (Kaiba's too)!!

I would also like to thank the wonderful people who read and reviewed the previous chapters! I'm glad you guys like my story.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Chibi-Kaiba refused to even look at the dainty bed that was shown to him. It wasn't a-shambles or anything, in fact it was very pretty. It was a smaller rendition of a four poster bed, with an impromptu bedding made out of cotton stuffed cloth; complete with pillows and a thick handkerchief for a blanket. The chibi turned its back. He refused to set eyes on his gift, even when he heard a frustrated growl.

Jou huffed. "Geez, thanks for the appreciation…. Yer picky AND PRICKLY! Use it or dun' I dun' care anymore." He stood up and left the room, his utterances not lost on the chibi. "Lil' high'n mighty bastard. Shoulda never made the effort anyhow… OW! Dammit! Stupid nail… this stings."

* * *

"There is NO way in hell I'm takin' ya to school!" the blond growled at the adamant chibi-Kaiba who was pointing persistently at Jou's backpack and out the door. "I'm not smugglin' ya in." 

The chibi shook its head and frowned, albeit adorably. It did its foot stomp twice.

"Ya got food and water and ya can take care of yerself… Gawd knows ya do it well. Why the hell do I gotta take ya anyway, ya mini-meanie?" the blonde groused. He was pissed because chibi-Kaiba was being a brat and because he was arguing with a toy.

Tiny blue eyes looked away. Its hand falling away to its side, fingers limp. Chibi-Kaiba bit its lip.

There was a sigh of defeat (not that it made any sound). The thing appeared to be desolate. "Alright, alright. I'll take ya…. But dun get prissy on me, 'else I'm leavin' ya, got it?"

A reluctant nod.

Chibi-Kaiba allowed Jou to pick him up, not even tweaked at the sudden high altitude. He was carefully tucked in the blonde's jacket pocket, where he curled into a relieved ball and huddled at the warmth of his human owner. It had seen the band aid that covered the blond's right third finger. An accident from last night's bed building escapade…. He did sleep in the bed though, when Jou himself was asleep… It was comfortable. His internal programming was used to such high end furniture... But it was more comfortable here.

It didn't even wake up even when its owner shot through alleys and backways; jumping over ratty fences and hurtling through various everyday obstacles. The small CEO even dozed through half the morning, for which Jou was very grateful for. He didn't want to be harped on by the life-sized original…. And he wasn't about to be barraged by his friends or by crazed Kaiba fangirls.

Chibi-Kaiba woke up around lunch though, much to the blond duelist's consternation and insisted on being fed. It became irritable when it spied a mini-Dark Magician and a mini-REBD snacking with their respective owners.

Jou pursed his lips and tired to ignore the rattling in his jacket pocket. He yelped when he suddenly felt pain. The imp had pinched him!

Exhaling, he slumped in his seat and withdrew the mini-meanie, setting him down on the cafeteria table. Grabbing a teaspoon, he took a small slice of his lime Jell-o and placed it in front of chibi-Kaiba's mouth.

Yugi, Honda, Anzu, and Ryou stared at him and then at the miniature Kaiba.

The uni-spiked man was first to break the stunned silence. "Wow, you're cursed, Jou."

"I am no…." But the prissy thing promptly spit out whatever it had been chewing. "Ok… so I am."

The dancer smiled and tried to comfort him, but it didn't work.

Next, Jou's pet began clamoring for water and the blonde duelist rolled his eyes. "Why oh why…hide yer damn Red Eyes, Ryou, before I pull the ol' switcheroo."

Seeing that his friend was serious, the gentle Briton stuffed his pet into his bag.

"Um Jou…" Yugi broached hesitantly. "Knowing you… I take it Kaiba-kun doesn't know, does he? You do realize that you have art next period and you guys sit next to each other."

"Oh SHIT!"

* * *

It sensed weakness, that thing. It smelled the fear… and it wanted more. Chibi-Kaiba kept poking his head out from under Jou's desk in order to take a gander at Kaiba Seto- the original, rotten, larger-than-life version. And the frantic blond, had to keep an eye on him, ready to push him in if Kaiba so much as breathed in their direction. He was so ansty; felt that his neck was loosing its screws, after swiveling it back and forth. 

The boy finally hissed. "Dammit, stay inside, will ya?!" Not noticing that a certain CEO had heard him and gave him a frown.

"Free sketch or painting today, class, and I want your work submitted at the end of my class. That is all. Get to work." Announced the teacher, as she sat behind her desk and fiddled with her attaché case. Apparently, she had missed out on a lot of papers that should have been checked and was using this period to do so. Her loss was Jou's gain.

The blond couldn't have been happier. At least his crappy day was looking up. Although he wasn't really a genius artist, he could draw well; added to the fact that he enjoyed it. He smoothed his oslo paper and gave it a good palm ironing before reaching down to grab his pencil from below his desks' cubicle… only to find it gone.

"What the?!"

A gentle tap made him snap his eyes to the little figure dressed in a billowing cape ATOP his desk. The micro-copy of Kaiba was sitting on the edge of the desk, holding up the blonde's pencil to him in offering. There was a tint of pink on those small cheeks. It really did make for a cute sight.

Jou bent low in order to obscure the chibi from Kaiba's line of vision. It looked like he was huddling. "Aaw… aren't you sweet?" The blond clucked quietly, as he took the item with a smile as a thank you. His index finger brushed against the chibi's head. Although it was accidental, the response was immediate.

The thing PREENED and nuzzled back.

Puzzled, Jou retried the motion, to which mini-Kaiba answered by hugging his index finger.

"Affectionate fellow, ne?" he said as he figured it out. "Ya aren't being a priss… yer lookin' fer some attention."

He ignored the strange stare he was receiving from Kaiba.

The tender blonde, took the little chibi in his hands and settled them on his lap. "An' I've been mean to ya and ignoring ya. Ya must have been real lonely. Well dun ya worry, I'll take good care of ya."

He ran an index finger down chibi-Kaiba's small torso in a gentle caress, which made the little one very happy indeed.

His love spree was interrupted by an appalled life-sized CEO. "Jounouchi, what are you on?!" to which the blond ignored him again.

"Yer actually kinda' like a cuddle-bug… heh… I guess yer not that bad. Wait til' I get ya home though. Yer in fer one helluva ride."

Sapphire eyes were wide with shock, as Kaiba continued to gape weirdly at the blonde. "The HELL are you talking about?"

"I wasn't talkin' to ya, dickweed." Brown eyes stared disinterestedly at him.

"Precisely the thing that bothers me." The modulated voice rose into a tense notch.

The blonde duelist rolled his eyes. "O gee great, you scared him! And he was ready too…." He bent lower and cooed. "C'mon I won't let 'im hurt you. C'mon out lil' guy."

Kaiba's broad hand slapped Jou's table. "Will you please go and masturbate somewhere else?!"

* * *

-Dies laughing- Even I wasn't expecting that to happen!

Do I sense a little Chibi-Kai/Jou thing? Mwahahahaha I wouldn't know. We'll just have to see, ne? Can anyone guess why Chibi-Kaiba was ignoring his grand four poster bed? ... XD Sometimes it's really hard to believe that I'm a sane individual.

Please PLEASE Read and Review. -Gives the readers her biggest, widest, most soulful puppy eyes-

I get inspiration from them -wheedling- Heee!


	4. Meeting ChibiJou

AN: Hi guys!! Standard disclaimers apply... oh and this chapter will mention Final Fantasy 12, Vaan the main character and a weapon called the Ivory Pole. They don't belong to me at all. ( while playing FF12, I keep mistaking Vaan for a girl... even with his chest displayed -.-) 

Originally this fic was supposed to focus on two mini-pets, but I'll try to incorporate the others, even if it'll be snatch appearances or something. Just give me about two or three chapters so I can plan. -smile-

Oh yeah, just a little heads up, I'll be attending seminars next week so I may not be able to update as much.

THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!! -blush-

* * *

Chapter 3

Jou couldn't stop laughing.

Heck, in the past 3 days, he avoided Kaiba like the plague because he knew that he would die yukking it up….

Well, he'd bray like a donkey and Kaiba'd smash his teeth in. That's what would kill him.

Because of the incident, Jou was forced to reveal the mini-meanie to save face. He didn't care that the CEO had seen chibi-Kaiba. He even wanted to thank the mean bastard. Because the blond was staying out of the brunet's way for fear of asphyxiation, he'd gotten to know the chibi well and was able to avoid insult-trading of any kind. See? What a wonderful trade off.

Now, he could practically read chibi-Kaiba like an open book.

He looked at his battered watch.

Nearly time for afternoon classes. He mentally noted as he plopped down on one of the school's randomly placed seats.

His brown eyes strayed to the little figure hitching a ride on his breast pocket. "You ok?"

The blond felt chibi-Kaiba climb up to his neck. After a while, a cool hand was placed on his cheek, before a small cheek rested on his own.

"Aaw." He cooed. He held up his index finger to chibi-Kaiba and waited until it was securely on his appendage before bringing the chibi to his lips for a kiss. "Luv ya too, lil' guy."

"What are you doing?!" A familiar, angry voice demanded.

To which the blond answered tartly. "Kissing mini-you."

"Stop slobbering all over it! It's bad enough my chibi is stuck with YOU, now it has to end up with your unsavory spit. Do you actually wish to kiss me that much? "

"Kaiba. Always knew ya were psychotic, but delusional? This is new." For some reason, the blond was on a roll. "'Sides, he's MY PET, not yers."

The brunet's eyebrow twitched. "I am no one's pet and that extends to anything in my likeness or genes. Between the two of us, you're the canine!" He pointed to his minute counterpart. "YOU! OFF him, NOW!!!"

A careless hand was waved in front of him. "Shush, will ya. He doesn't like ta be yelled at."

True enough, the mini-CEO rushed back to the side of the blond's neck and buried its tiny face there.

Twitch twitch.

"Oh for the love of…. Give me that!!!" the life-sized brunet blustered as he grabbed his micro-copy by the neck, as Jou did many days ago.

The blond yelled. "HEY! Ya can't go takin' what ain't yers!!!"

"I am prepared to compensate. How much?!" the blue-eyed man said coolly.

The shorter duelist gasped, spluttered, then turned a spotty purple. He was about to scream bloody murder when chibi-Kaiba's flailing limbs caught his eye. His short fuse cooled as he interpreted what his pet was trying to say.

"Er, Moneybags? He wans ya ta hold him near yer face."

"Why?"

Jou just shrugged, feigning disinterest. He watched intently as Kaiba did as what his chibi wanted.  
When the chibi was near enough, the CEO growled. "Now what?!"

There was no answer, but his nose received a courtesy mini-Kaiba roundhousekick.

Jounouchi Katsuya left for class, with chibi-Kaiba on his favorite perch, chortling and giggling.

* * *

Mokuba could feel the anger inside the Kaiba mansion and he was on the third floor game room playing Final Fantasy 12. If the intensity of the foreboding aura was any indication as was the loud slams of several doors, his Big Brother had become Bacchus, The Unwaveringly Pissed.

From the way the temperature in the manor had dropped, he would have to say that his Seto-oniichan was pizzled at one Jounichi Katsuya. As little brother to one of the youngest millionares in the country, he knew these things. He could discern Seto-oniichan's true words by a glare, a small twinge even by the man's atmosphere.

He looked toward his knee where a blond fuzzball lay curled, focused upon Vaan's awesome skill with the Ivory Pole. "Oh dear." The younger Kaiba uttered. "I don't think he's going to like this one bit."

"Mokuba!!" came the unintentional growl from the other side of the door.

Grey eyes widened. He looked down at his newly acquired mini-pet. "Crap, you're doomed. What am I talking about? I'M DOOMED!!" He scrambled to a standing position, scooping the blond and trying to find a legitimate hiding place.

"Mokuba?"

"Uhm… uhm… coming, Big Brother."

The double doors opened with a snap. With a panicked squeal, the youngest Kaiba unmercifully shoved the chibi-Duel Monster toy inside his shorts' pocket.

Stern blue eyes were gazing sharply at nervous grey ones. "Why didn't you answer when I called for you?"

This was bad. Seto-oniichan's arms were crossed over his chest. "Uhm… I didn't hear you come up. I'm sorry. I… I was engrossed in the game." Mokuba gulped. He pleaded to the heavens that his new toy would not…

"What is THAT?!" an index finger poked the lump in his pocket.

The kid jumped. "What is w-what?"

Blue eyes narrowed. Without much further ado, slender hands plucked the shaggy blond mop of hair from Mokuba's pocket. Then the chibified version of brown puppy eyes blinked into Seto's.

…The Fires of Hell had nothing on Seto Kaiba at this very moment.

"M-O-K-U-B-A K-A-I-B-A!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

Both Kaibas sat opposite each other in the dining room, sipping tea and watching mini-Jou slurping on a chocolate milk shake, served on a small jigger; perfectly large for a tiny creature like him.

Mokuba turned hopeful. "I kinda ...sorta lost a bet with my classmate who wanted my Sagi the Dark clown mini pet… He didn't like mini-Jou so we traded. Can I keep him, please Big Brother? I know Jou anyway so it won't be much of a hassle to take care of his chibi."

"Hm." Came the murmur. Seto was most likely NOT listening to his younger brother. So intent was he on creating table tremors, via finger tapping, that had the small blond bouncing up and down uncomfortably, letting the shake trickle this way and that.

"Seto-niichan!!" the younger Kaiba whined. "Stop that. He's trying to drink."

Again, he was ignored.

But it was too bad Seto "The Great" Kaiba missed the overbulging veins on mini-Jou's head. Because five seconds later, he found himself having to contend with glass and thick goop sliding down his forehead and on his expesnive suit.

There was pin prick of blood exactly between the CEO's eyes. Mokuba had little time to wonder about how potentially dangerous a chocolate milk shake could be or how herculean the tiny thing was before he hastily retreated to his bedroom with his mini-pet. Well, at least he could now submit a dissertation on "The Pros and Cons of Chocolate Milkshake". English homework solved.

Now what to do with the apparently shortened life span of mini-Jou.

* * *

pizzled equals pissed + puzzled

For those who don't know, a jigger is a little glass, about 1.5 to 2 inches high (depending on style), wherein alcoholic shots are served.

Kudos to those who figured out that Chibi-Kaiba wanted to sleep with its owner in the previous chapter! And don't you think Kaiba deserved that splatter?? He was being a jerk! Hahahahaha See ya guys next time!


	5. Bonus: Holiday Special

STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY!! 

Hiya guys! I have returned. The seminar hosts moved the date of the lecture and did not(?)/ forgot to (?) inform me (they sent an email but I didn't receive any). I had to go WAAA--AAYYY over there for nothing, sigh I really hate it when an oversight like that happens. But oh well, at least I got most of my Christmas shopping done. I won't be mobbed during the season's frenzy! XD

Warning: a little more evident KaiJou and YamiHikari pairings

NOTE: THIS IS A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!! AND IT HAS **NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MAIN STORY**. IT'S A ONE TIME THING ONLY!!! I really don't know if that's a good thing or not. XD

This is my gift to those fabulous reviewers! You guys really keep me going!! Oh and one more thing, if the character "talks" take it as communication between chibis.

* * *

I 

A few hours before Christmas in Kaiba's silent chateau

Eight tiny figures snuck away from sleeping Jou

Could not shut down in impatient delight

The awaited Christmas day, celebrated first light

With pushes and grunts, they made their way down

To a cozy den with nary a frown

A great green tree stood in the middle

With lace and decors that seemed to jiggle

The chibis remembered what Jou had to say

About this enchanting white snowy day

There were gifts, laughter; carolers abound

A tubby ho-ho-ing guy lugging gifts around

This day was new, a mystery!!

But some of them saw OPPORTUNITY

II

Chibi Bakura flittered across the stocking row

Pilfering sweets with one greedy paw

A vision of mayhem and destruction ahead

Made mini-Marik chuckle bright red

Yes, this season was perfect, PERFECT you see!

For evil deeds done with unrestrained glee

The little tomb robber claimed the fireside near

For he thought its flames fanned his enemies' fear

His shadow as tall as the Original one

Conquering then in a snap could be done

Sneaky tomb keeper thought it better 'neath the tree

To hide in the dark, to surprise stealthily

Tiny Yami foresaw the bloody outcome best

Tried to pacify the duo at his hikari's behest

But the poor dear ended with soot on his face

His head met Christmas bauble with none the grace

So he sulked in a corner, bothered and angry

Trying to smile at his comforting little Yugi

III

White haired Ryou with mini Malik in tow

Marched right over to chibi-Bakura, slow

They pleaded that this be stopped right now, this minute!

But he only took a stocking and wrapped Malik in it

The tomb robber wanted Marik's immediate surrender

For 'neath the tree was a new place he could plunder

But to his great surprise, tomb keeper agreed

Coming for his hikari with all haste and speed

"It doesn't matter", Marik said, "If I win or not...

I can't lose Malik, because he's all I've got"

Unrolled and free, Malik glomped him with a whoosh

Euphoric, while his yami landed on his tush

Now tomb robber was puzzled, he did not understand

What could be more important than having wealth and land?

Disappointed chibi-Ryou wanted to cry

Bakura didn't value him... he didn't know why

Seeing tomb keeper and hikari moving away

he joined them, Pharaoh Yami and Yugi at play

IV

None of this bothered the happy chibi couple

who shared a window sill; all fluffy hearts and bubbles

Little Jou who was petting Seto's chocolate brown hair

Was snuggled up together without a care

They watched the world one snowflake at a time

Content and peaceful to hear Christmas bells chime

Then came the WHAM! THUD! and a particular BOOM!

And chibi-Seto hoped fervently it didn't spell their doom

Ornaments, candies, coal and whatnot

Rained down on the den, shot by shot

Tomb robber, alone, confused and enraged

Wanted to ruin everyone's holiday parade

This time Yami couldn't take it lying down

He fought back hard, on his face a royal frown

Zing! Bang! Whizz! and Crash!

The only thing missing was a freakin' nuclear blast

The Chibi War escalated, the place was a mess

But a tiny someone couldn't take it. Who? Can you guess?

V

It was six against one, but Bakura was cunning

In truth, his counter attacks were nothing short of stunning

He dipped and he ducked, swished and attacked

could hold his own, even if he was already blue and black

Miserable Ryou ran for him then

"Stop it, stop!! Just stop if you can!

Why do you do this, answer me please

Stop ruining everyone elses Christmas Eve"

All actions halted as they waited for an explanation

Bet they were surprised to see Bakura's desolation

"Everyone was else was having great fun

They were cuddling and laughing and I had no one..."

"Oh silly yami," Ryou whispered as he cried

"You always have me right here by your side"

To say chibi-Bakura was shocked was an understatement

"I always thought you hated me for all my disgraces"

To which came the reply, "You may not be perfect that's true

But it does not mean that I don't love you"

Feeling great shame for the things that he did

Tomb robber would accept any punishment that Yami bid

To his surpise not even a Mind Crush came

He wasn't smacked down until he was lame

The strong stolid Pharoah that he once knew

Had a change of heart; from Yugi his kindness grew

"All is forgiven this Christmas night"

Yami declared, "let us just celebrate and forget our fight"

VI

The chibis gathered; huddled by the fire

Enjoying a group-solitude without their usual ire

"That was wonderful" said Yugi "What you did back there"

Yami just blushed for the kiss they did share

And so into the dawn they talked and made merry

Singing Christmas songs, a tune they could not carry

Later, all were tired and felt the need to sleep

There were no complaints, not even a peep

Chibi Seto curled to one side

His golden pup held with love and with pride

Malik made do with his yami as pillow

He couldn't be happier than a cat with a minnow

Little Yugi snoozed, nose in Yami's royal ear

In the tiny Pharoah's arms, he had nothing to fear

The white haired chibis stayed awake a little longer

Silent and blissful; feeling their bond grow stronger

They let Mr. Sandman sprinkle sand in their eyes

Chibi Bakura murmuring that he had his beloved prize

And amid the mayhem and destruction of Chistmas-y things

Lay blissful little chibis carried by the Sleep Angel's wings

VII

They dreamt good dreams and then disregarded

The clutter they left, the things they had shattered

So on Christmas morn, with a cheer and a greeting

Kaiba Seto's family, down the den, they came running

But what awaited them there was not wonder or surprise

Rather they were gifts that met their untimely demise

The floor was dirty, littered with glass shards too

Christmas ribbons and garlands hung about askew

Spluttering in anger, Kaiba demanded

Just how in the seven hells could this have happened

Neither Jou nor Mokuba had answers to that

Until they saw the chibis under a tattered santa hat

Kaiba, enraged, screamed bloody murder

There were exactly eight chibis he wanted to neuter!!!!!!!!

VIII

And that is the end to this coloful tale

A lesson learned urgently and without fail

With Yamis and Hikaris; Seto and Jou too

Shouting out "Happy Holidays" to you and you!!!

* * *

-Drops dead- X.x Gaaah!!! Finally finished. Do you know how difficult it is to rhyme everytime??!!! Just something WAFF-y... -smiles- Fear the cuteness!!!! 

Anyhoo, my mother insisted on a technology-less X-mas Vacation... so I'll be gone for most of December... and I'm sorry I can't update. -Cowers in a corner- Please don't hurt me!! But don't worry, who knows what adventures I might have? Maybe I'll get good material for the upcoming chapters.

AVANCED HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you guys have a wonderful Christmas!!!


	6. Reluctant Caretaker

Standard Disclaimers STILL in effect!!! 

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hi, I'm back from my long vacation. I'm not really sure if I like this chapter... hehehe... I may have to revise this thing when I'm really inspired or something... -sigh-

* * *

Chapter 4

The first class hadn't even started yet, when a particularly rich and handsome blur blundered into Jou's desk.

After what had happened last night, Kaiba had ordered a new mini-pet for Mokuba and snatched chibi-Jou away, complete with manual and all.

A familiar growl. "You! Mutt!! I propose a trade!! So gimme me... I mean give it to me. NOW!" a short pause. "Dammit. That sounds so wrong... Just give me that Kaiba pet!!"

The blond was stuck staring at the CEO. He was trying to decide whether to laugh, to blink or to answer Kaiba's innuendo with one of his own. And then he spied what looked to be a Thumbellina of himself.

"Aaw, Kaiba, how cute. Ya bought my mini-pet!" Plucking mini-Jou from the brunet's hands, he waved a finger at it in hello. The small blond grinned up at him from under a mess of sunshine tangles. Then he put it down next to his Chibi-Kaiba, looking on as the two pets stood there observing each other.

"I did NOT purchase it!" Kaiba said through gritted teeth, slamming both hands squarely on Jou's school desk, which transfered Jou's attention back to him. Scowling, he brought his face near the blond and unknowingly exposing the X-shaped band aids on his forehead.

Jou blinked again. "Wha' da hell happened to ya'? Thought ya' were untouchable or somethin' like it..."

"For your information, dog, your stupid replica hurled a ji-... oh Shut up! This is irrelevant." the CEO muttered under his breath. He wanted to slap himself silly for almost mentioning the fact that he was injured by a gawd-awful beverage. Dammit, that was embarassing. "I will trade you this mini-pet for yours. I assume this deal is satisfactory to both parties?"

"First: YOU, the Great Ass of All Time, defeated by MY chibi? Oh yeah! The lil' guy rocks, man!!" the blond crowed as he suddenly swung mini-Jou into the air. "Second, there ain't no way, I'm tradin' wit' ya Kaiba. He's already me."

The former thug set down his mini-self carefully, before rubbing a gentle index finger on top of its and Chibi-Kaiba's head. "Chibi-Kaiba, are ya poutin'?"

His pet looked away and crossed his arms.

Jou laughed at his reaction. "Ya aren't jealous, aren't ya? Dun ya worry. This is mini-me, we're talkin' about! So he's just as awesome as I am. Dun need to go all territorial on me, as much as I hate the idea, he's Kaiba's."

"Does NOTHING get in that pea-brain of yours?!!" The human Kaiba boomed. "I DO NOT, REPEAT DO NOT, W-A-N-T, YOUR FLEA BITTEN CHIBI AS MY PET. I'D RATHER GO BANKRUPT."

"Jeez, Kaiba, no need to blow a gasket. Hear ya loud and clear." Jou retorted, a little hurt at the vehement protest. He wasn't going to retaliate or anything, in fact he was reigning in his legendary temper. After all, he gained a new perspective while being with chibi-Kaiba. That all changed when he saw the dejected blond mini-pet slump on the wooden table, and cry silently. "Ya bastard, moneybags, ya made him cry!"

The tall gajillionaire didn't respond verbally but his facial expression gave everything away.

All along, Chibi-Kaiba was scrutinizing the events that were unfolding. It began to wonder if he was based on his supposed human counter part at all. For lack of better words, the Original was a complete and utter sod! ...The Original was probably a defect. Yes,that was made logical explanation in his programming. Sure, Chibi-Kaiba could be a veritable bastard if he wanted to but even he wasn't THAT mean. Glaring a patented Kaiba glare at the Original, he scooped the crying mini-pet in his arms.

This action startled both humans. While it made Jou turn into a puddle of mush, it incensed Kaiba to higher proportions.

"What are you doing?! Get off of that tiny cur!!"

At this, even chibi-Kaiba had had enough. Standing up, he allowed his programming to switch him into Ultra-Rant mode, with evil red eyes and a snarky, though wordless, mouth.

This made mini-Jou's Original gape in awe. "Did I know he could DO somethin' like this?"

Then chibi-Kaiba went into an angry fit, involving a dozen bulging veins, shaking fists and silent snarling. All of which were aimed at his Original. Before he could proceed to Stage II, a small hand tugged at his billowing coat. Chibi-Jou simpered at him a little and shook his shaggy head. Startled, the mini-brunet's program deactivated itself, so he went to sit with chibi-Jou to keep him company. He trusted his human owner to handle things from now on.

"Dude, ya just got flamed by yer own chibi. Dat's gotta tell ya a whole lotta somethin's."

Eyes colder than Antartica swept over him. "Look, since I obviously don't want mini-Jou, why don't you just take him? Get him out of my hair. You have my blessings."

With each barb that left his mouth, the mini-blond flinched and hunched into himself.

Frowning, Jou's eyes lost it's mirth. "Ye are SUCH a bastard. Man, it won't kill ya to care for a mini-pet. Hell, yer even taking care of Mokuba and that's gotta be harder. Why not give the lil' guy a chance ok? I mean, looka me. I have YER chibi! Sure, I thought, he had the same amount of bastardness that you do... but look at us now, he and I get along great."

"NO."

"... What are ya? Scared of ya pet?"

"That will not work on me, mutt."

"Suit yaself. Thought a badass CEO like ya wouldn't have no problems takin' care of a 3 inch-somethin' pet... but well... Guess this is one thing I'm better at than you! so HA! Ya proll'y couldn't take care of mini-me anyhow... proll'y keel over in a week or so under yer "tender mercies"."

Kaiba twitched. If that wasn't a rankle to his pride (and his womanly nurturing side), he would eat his silk, ridiculously expensive, boxers. Not uttering a sound, he snatched a flailing mini-Jou from his perch and left the classroom.

"And dun worry lil' me. Me and chibi-Kaiba'll be houndin' Kaiba all week. We'll visit! Chibi-Jou likes ta COOK, Kaiba." Jou called after them. "Toodles!"

* * *

That's all for today, folks. Please give me feedback. -pulls the kitty face from Shrek 2- 


	7. A Teeny Thief

STANDARD DISCLAIMERS STILL APPLY 

Thank you very much for the reviews, you guys! I just never realized how OOC Kaiba-kun is. hahahahaha... In most stories, he's so calm, cool and collected and Jou's keeps flying off the handle. It's fun ruffling the CEO's feathers up a bit and reversing roles with Jou. I'll try keeping them in character . (try being the operative word) But I won't apologize because I'm having too much fun with this!!!

I may not be able to update as much. I have a new job and my sis-in-law just gave birth. We all have to pitch in with baby things. She's very beautiful and I'm very proud to be her aunt! -10000 megawatt smile-

* * *

Chapter 5

It was a boring Saturday night for Jou and his pet. Since everyone from his gang had work or had other plans, he was stuck doing homework. He had finished a report on Psychology and was now in the middle of trigonometry. He flopped his head on his Math notebook dejectedly.

Gah!! Math was an EVIL EVIL subject.

He peered one chocolate colored eye open when he felt minute hands shaking his exposed arm. "'Sup lil' guy?"

Chibi-Kaiba gave him a glare, then walked over to problem number 7 on his notebook. Using his toe, he encircled the third exponent from the equation.

"Hm?" Jou mumbled as he checked. "Hey! it's raised to the 5th power not the 3rd! Thanks Chibi-Kaiba!!"

He was on the last dregs of the dreaded homework when his phone rang. Grumbling, he rolled from his bed and took the call. "Yo, Jounouchi residence. M'dad's not in right now."

"Jou?" came the familiar yet slightly fretful voice of a female. "Jou can you get some of the guys to come to the 7-11 shop I work in? As in now?"

The blond frowned. The girl didn't really make outrageous requests like this. "Anzu! Is somethin' the matter?"

"... I think we're being robbed. It sort of looks like Bakura."

"HO' SHIT!! Anzu stay hidden. I'll be right there ok?" the duelist slammed the phone down on the receiver. He snatched his blue jean jacket off the wall and put it on post haste. "Chibi-Kaiba, I'll be back later ok. This is an emergency! Just please watch over the house."

The mini-brunet gave him a mock salute. He also did some complicated handsigns that Jou would later understand as "stay safe".

"Stupid crazy Tomb effin' Robber!!! I thought Ryou had him under wraps!!!" Jou was sprinting across his neighborhood. It was a good thing his apartment complex was near Anzu's work joint; which is probably why she called him first. Smart girl.

A familiar catty, green-eyed, raven-haired man blurred past him.

"Otogi!!" Jou crowed. He needed more reinforcements! Not giving the dice-obssessed boy a chance to say so much as a "hello", he grabbed his arm and dragged him to that corner 7-11, all the while explaining to him what was occuring.

The Dungeon Dice Master flipped him. "And here I thought you were just talking to yourself."

"Shut it, Dicey. Anzu needs help!"

The force of the duo's entry was so great, that the store's double doors quaked. The two young men were glancing left and right for any sign of Bakura. The blond sighed in relief as he spotted an unharmed Anzu beside the counter, with a rather dazed look on her face.

Jou skidded to a halt next to her. "Ey'? What happened? Ya ok? Where's the connivin' lil' thief?"

And as if he uttered magic words, the brown haired girl snapped out of her stupor. "Jou! Jou you wouldn't believe it!! Here he was, skulking in that corner when I caught him!! He was trying to make off with those plastic earrings. I caught him, Jou!! I put him under glass."

Both men were boggled. "Huh?"

How could you put a grown man under glass? And why would Bakura steal obviously fake jewelry? If there was anything that Jou new of that crazy Egyptian was that he always went for the big stuff.

Rolling her eyes, Anzu waved them over to the counter. There, imprisoned under a rather large drinking mug sat one brooding chibi-Bakura.

Otogi examined the sour mini-pet, who was trying to maintain dignity by stiffly rearranging the sleeve of his clothes. "Can anybody tell my why he's wearing an Ice Skating-Cindy Lou doll, Venus-cut edition dress in Royal Purple? And why the edges of it have been sheared off by scissors?"

He was met with two goggling pairs of brown eyes. "What? I'm serious."

"Uhm... I think he ran away from the l-little girl who was here earlier. She kept saying: "at least this dolly looks prettier now"." Anzu stuttered. "Oh... OH! She probably thought Bakura was a girl! Hey, so that means this little twerp's been here for quite a while."

Otogi sniffed. "He was probably scouting the general layout of the area, like all good thieves should."

The blond took a healthy step away from the emerald eyed man, an expression of complete and utter horror upon his face.

"Being in the gaming business requires that I know my rivals' lineups down to smallest detail. And besides a Cindy-Lou doll dress is worth more than your month's salary."

Jou turned to Anzu and mouthed. "He knows DOLL DRESSES??!!"

"So what are we going to do with this little criminal now?" the dancer asked, putting her hands on her hips. "In other cases, I would return something as valuable as this to their owner... but siccing Bakura, even a toy version of himself, is unusual and cruel."

"That's a no fer me, guys. One mini-pet is 'nough. Should we take it to Ryou?"

At the mention of their friend's name, something remarkable happened. Chibi-bandit Bakura cringed. And if you looked very, very closely, an unhealthy amount of blood (or whatever that red coloring stuff was) crept up to his ears.

"Did you guys just see that happen?" Anzu broke in, amazed.

Otogi reached inside his jacket, accessing what might have been a secret pocket. "Hmm." He pulled out a mini-Ryou and set him down on the counter.

The poor little chibi must have gotten dizzy during it's owner's flight, for it did a sort of squiggly dance, shuffled in circles and generally acted like a drunkard. Where gentle eyes were supposed to be, only spiralling circles were found.

Seeing his mini counterpart, chibi-Bakura banged the walls of his prison, snarling at the humans. Against better judgement, Jou set him free and the little thief rushed toward his tiny hikari. Unlike what chibi-Kaiba had done for the mini-blond, it just stood there, hawk-like eyes trained to his chibi-hikari. And there was no doubt in the humans' minds that if the gentle pet were to fall, the mini-robber would act swiftly.

Chibi-Ryou, after a few more wobbles must have felt better because he had the classic "scolding" pose. He seemed to intuitively know that his chibi-yami gave in to his sticky fingers and was telling the other off. The miniscule Bakura was not in the least bit contrite, but he let his mini-hikari do as it pleased. Deeming chibi-Bakura punished, mini-Ryou smiled up at his owner.

"Well, that settles that." The DDM owner seemed entertained. "I'm taking them both."

* * *

It was the middle of the night. The CEO was tired, cranky and starving. Reviewing his company's reports for the month had his senses crosswired. He hadn't much to eat during dinner, because some incompetent fool had done inumerable errors on the accounting. Much of his dinner time had been spent correcting his company's legal papers. There was no doubt that he was going to fire the idiot as well as his or her unfortunate manager, very, very soon.

He stood up from his desk and stretched, completely unaware that his actions woke up the chibi-blond who had been leaning on the stapler, having shut down for the night. Mini-Jou wondered why the human still kept him when it was obvious it was not wanted. But still... he could sense that the human was overworked and wasn't doing a very good job of taking care of himself.

Seeing that its owner was about to leave, mini-Jou made up its mind. Performing a running jump, he dived off the desk and clung to the brunet's belt.

* * *

Another chapter done. Guys, please don't pressure me too much into updating fast. I'm kinda having a hard time juggling schedules currently. But I'll do my very best.

Thanks. Please read and review!


	8. Kaiba Changes His Mind

STANDARD DISCLAIMERS STILL APPLY!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Heya heya!!! Thank you guys so much for the support and for understanding my rather, choked schedules... I'm really doing my best to be creative and stuff, and I will apologize for the shortness of this chapter. It think I'm going to have a new kink coming up soon... just as long as I get my butt in gear!!! I really love you guys!!!!!!!!! Thanks again!!

To : **The Earl of Angelstone,Emiko87,Clarity2199**: Thanks for the greetings! The baby sends you guys a chibi-kiss (she's sitting on my lap right now, watching the screen). I'm actually jealous:D -huff- hahahaha

* * *

Chapter 6

The Kaiba manor was awoken with a commotion! Servants and the younger Kaiba came scuttling about hallways and rooms, checking to see what went amiss. Security personnel began scanning cameras, only to find their employer, in the kitchen, stooped over the microwave with what looked like scrambled eggs on his face.

Yawning, one of the guards radioed the others. "S'ok guys, Sir Kaiba's in the kitchen again." He chuckled as the kitchen staff wailed in the background.

Knowing that everything was alright with the world, the servants and Mokuba went back to sleep (except some of the chefs, who were worrying about the state of their beloved kitchen come morning).

All this went on without the knowledge of one Seto Kaiba, who was glaring at the chibi, daring it to laugh. Mini-Jou was huddled among the condiments, but strips of egg were splattered all over him as well. The little pet had tried to warn the Human that the scrambled eggs were supposed to be covered before it was to be cooked. And that Kaiba should not have opened the microwave door at that moment, without pressing the CANCEL button first.  
But as it was, the Human could not understand mini-pet lingo. Mini-Jou huffed. It dusted off the bits of eggs before jumping up and down on the marble counter to get its owner's attention.

"What now? Don't tell me you short circuiting?" Kaiba groused as he blinked the sleepiness away. Dammit. He was still very hungry.

He was certain that if the small blond could growl it would. As it was it ran unto the stove, observed it for a moment and operated the computerized panel on the side. It also tapped a frying pan and gestured a circular shape with its arms.

The Human became amused. "Are you trying to tell me what I think you're trying to tell me? I don't take orders from you or from anyone."

Mini-Jou made a face and rolled his eyes. It looked like it wanted to rant, its face was red and there were bulging veins on its forehead. Suddenly it shook its shaggy mane and motioned for Seto to hurry with the eggs.

There was a stand off, neither of which knew how long. Somewhere along the lines, Kaiba mused as to when he was reduced to glaring down a small man made toy. He would be damned if he would let this thing win...

Finally, Mini-Jou took action. He rubbed his tummy and pointed to the Human. Then he pointed to himself and mimed whisking something. It lifted its teeny head up and smiled a bright smile upon its owner.

Seto Kaiba was taken aback. He raised a brow in pure skepticism as his feet led him to his fridge. "I do believe I'm letting a five-inch something twerp boss me around in my own kitchen..." he snerked at the small figure rubbing butter on the flat pan. "He did say you could cook." He delivered two fresh eggs on the counter near the chibi, who then signed for a small bowl and a fork. "Just don't tell anyone about his, ok?"

It took awhile, but now Kaiba was seated on his kitchen counter, regally scarfing down omelettes. He had to admit they were really, really good. Next to him was chibi-Jou in a heap, sprawled distatefully and breathing heavily. (Well who wouldn't? after carrying around utensils twice your size and weight..)

Feeling a bit of emotion seeping into his skin, Kaiba nudged the small thing gently. "Hey."

Chibi-Jou opened a bleary eye and found itself facing a giant spoon with generous proportions (for it) of omelette a la chibi-Jou. Tired, but giddy at the offering, the small thing lifted itself up and nibbled.

And the Human watched all this, lips lifted at one corner.

Perhaps, having Chibi-Jou wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

"Oya, Kaiba boy..." Murmured the eccentric creator of the Mini Pets. "You have now learned to get along with little Jounouchi? How tragically delayed."

Silver haired Pegasus, smirked over his wine, reclining in his plush executive seat with flourish and glancing at two small, spikey haired imps lounging on his table.

Pegasus raised an amused brow at Chibi Yami. "It's not at invasion of privacy, Yami-kins. I need to see for myself if my babies are being treated kindly. That's why they have bots in their systems that reroutes what they see into my mainframe. Isn't it grand?!" he laughed and threw his head back.

Besides the screen of his business rival with the tiny blond, several other screens were on display. In the top left corner, was Otogi in black boxers with white paw prints, lounging on a crimson colored chaise. Beside him, was a presumably squealing mini-Ryou (all they could see were cute fingers), being tickled to heck by the tiny robber. In another panel, a small lavender eyed pet was staring at himself in the mirror, pouting and tilting its head to the side. In the last bottom window was a screen of the Original Jou's snoring face; akimbo in bed.

Chibi Yami made a face. The loon just wanted to spy on people. It was sure about that! ...The Perv!

Small Yuugi shook its head in consternation. This was against the law. And besides, what if the mini pets were to witness something private... and something like that?!!!

At the sudden color change of his own chibis, Pegasus tuned back to the screen, where Mini-Jou, undressed and unguarded (the chibi was staring at its own chest ), was soaking in an empty ramen cup filled with hot water, in the graindoise bathroom of one Seto Kaiba. The expensive looking bowl was set beneath a pearl white marble sink.

"Oh my, even as a chibi, he is kind of well built, is he not? Jou-kins must work out a lot. I can't say which is better though, the human one or the cuter pet version... hmmn.. decisions..."

Mini-Yami indignantly began stomping his foot, demanding that Mini-Jou have its bath time to itself, while his smaller half peeked through its tiny fingers.

Flushing, Chibi-Yuugi he nodded in agreement. Mini-Jou got its work out from running and fighting... at least its Original did... and he did have a nice, slender body...

Huffing in an irked manner, Chibi-Yami slapped a firm hand over his small hikari's dazed, admiring eyes.

* * *

Don't hurt me for the chapter shortness please!!! -ducks from flying fruit and other stuff-

I have a question: do you guys think I should do the whole chibi thing with Naruto? Hmmn.. I'm really tempted -smiling- Tell me what you guys think, ok? But of course, I'm amking leeway for this fancfic FIRST. Thanks a bunch. Please read and review.

Snerk is sneer plus a smirk


	9. Closer You and I

STANDARD DISCLAIMERS STILL APPLY 

Hey!! I'm back. Life really is unexpected. One minute we were hot-footing the city for a last night out and the next thing I know I wake up in the hospital with one of my gals on the bed next to me. THAT WAS SCARY!! I NEVER WANNA EXPERIENCE THAT AGAIN!! I just got out of the hospital and I'm resting at home. Severe food poisoning for both of us... I'm kinda afraid to eat out now... hahahaha oh well life.

Ooh, thanks for the responses and the reviews. I love you guys so much!!! You brighten up my day!!!

I'll see what I can do about the Naruto. I have the starting plot, but the ending escapes me. Ideas and suggestions are very much welcome!!!! Ooh and proper credit goes to proper contributions.

* * *

Chapter 7

It was a lazy Monday afternoon that found Kaiba enjoying the ambiance in a posh coffee shop in Downtown Domino. Having just been through several meetings, he decided to take the rest of the day off from school and enjoy a little quiet time.

The weekend hadn't been as dreary as he had predicted, what with Mokuba still pissed at his "unlawful borrowing" of Mini-Jou... who, he had to admit, was a slight step in his good graces, at present... His little brother had taken one look of the chibi puttering inside his older brother's briefcase, blinked and had the audacity to give him a Mokuba-patented-I've-got-cream-smirk.

Kaiba Seto really didn't want to know what that was all about!

Ignoring the gnawing feeling of impending disaster inside his stomach, the CEO lifted his eyes from the paper to spy on a scruffy blond head peeking out from a procelain tea cup, observing passers-by. The two of them had been enjoying tea and scrumpets, when the most horrible doom of all occured out of the blue: fangirls!

Fangirls who fawned over the handsome (albeit socially constipated) bachelor. And fangirls who just couldn't get over the chibi-naivete of one Mini-Jou. Actually, it was more like the women gushed over the small blond pet, flocking to his table to fondle, tickle, and coo at Mini-Jou. The only time they gibbered was to pester him into admitting where he got the cute thing... not that he answered their stupid questions.

The CEO was being deprived of his relaxation and to top it all off, the small pet had the audacity to soak in the attention. Preening and blushing and widening its eyes for the simpering females.

It really pissed Kaiba off. He did an inner "WHOOP" when the waiter shooed off the nuisances and dumped the small blond into an empty tea cup so nobody could see it.

"Little ham." Kaiba muttered irritably. He rolled back his shoulders and went back to his reading, only to have the rattling of china disturb him. He set down his papers to find that mini-Jou was using the tea-cup as a rendition of a Tilt-a-Whirl; spinning round and round above the saucer, his face alight with joy and his mouth opened in a silent shriek.

The debonaire multimillionaire wasn't at all that surprised really when five minutes later, he was paying for an expensive, broken table ware.

The tall CEO sighed as he rubbed his temples. "So what do you have to say for yourself?"

Chibi-Jou scuffed his toe on the table cloth, sheepishly wringing his hands. It bent its head and tried to smile at its owner, only to falter as he received the Ultimate Kaiba glare. Like a scolded child, it slunk into a corner (a dishful of fresh french bread) and hung back from its owner's line of sight. it really didn't like the way its owner was focused on it; like it was about to be eaten alive or something.

But Kaiba was actually amazed at the small chibi. Now that he had the time and space to think about things, it acted like its Original would and that was frightening. The technology alone, needed for the depth of facial expressions and emotions were beyond human comprehension.

He wondered about Pegasus Maximillian. Was the man a true genius? Or was he just off his rocker? In the bowels of the Pegasus Castle, someone sneezed.

To one Kaiba Seto, this was one of those times where he wanted to go pick the silver-haired man's brain and take a tour. The ideas the other could come up with were nothing short of miraculous. And if Kaiba could tap into those creative juices he'd be set for life. His only problem now was figuring out a way to topple the Mini-pet success.

"Hmmn..." the human muttered under his breath. He plucked the sulking chibi from its hiding place and set it in front of his scrutinizing eyes.

What were the chibis made of? He asked himself, his forefinger lingering atop the tiny blond's chibi-jean-jacket. Would there be wires and bolts and nano-electrical wires under the latex skin? Was there a battery pack, hidden by that tiny white shirt or a memory chip inserted behind the fragile neck?

Kaiba itched to know. His long finger traced the whole length of the toy, trying to find a latch, oblivious to the shiver he subjected the tiny being to. He grunted when he found Mini-Jou to be smooth all over. There were no bumps or protrusions or signals for machinery entry.

He was about to remove Mini-Jou's white shirt when a tap on his shoulder unnerved him. A familiar pair of chocolate brown eyes swam into his vision. "Heya Kaib'! Watcha doin'?" the voice was nervous as well as disbelieving.

"Nothing of interest, mutt." the CEO returned crisply. His temper returning two fold at the sight of chibi-Kaiba all lovey-dovey against the swan-like column of Jou's neck.

The Original blond's nodded uncertainly. "O-ohkay... twilight zone..." he set his pet down on the table and snatched a seat for himself without waiting for an invitation. "Cause' ya kinda look like yer molestin' mini-me... from da other side of the glass... Anyhu, how's it hangin' with da lil' guy?"

As soon as chibi-Kaiba landed, the mini-blond tackle-glomped him, shaking from head to toe. It had been spooked when its owner took a sudden, definite interest in its body!

Shaking its tiny brown colored head, the small CEO began patting his companion.

There was a bout of uncomfortable silence before Kaiba cleared his throat and asked what the blond was doing in one of the most expensive cafes in Domino.

Jou laughed. "Oh, it's all legit, Moneybags. My shift starts in about... Crap, less than 10 minutes... gotta go." He swiped his pet, hastily apologized to his tiny self and sprinted off into the kitchen. "Ain't so bad having a mini-me in yer mansion, ain't it?" he called over his shoulder with a wink.

The blue eyed man did not react immediately. "No, if anything, I can make a profit out of its cooking. I expect you at the Kaiba mansion this Saturday. We shall see this so-calledculinary skill of yours." Kaiba smirked as both chibi-Jou and its Original tripped at the same time in their respective places. "I'll be expecting lunch from you, mutt."

"Are you serious? Are you high? Did you just ask me to cook for you in a roundabout way??!! Hey wait, moneybags!! Come back here. MINI-ME WHAT DID YOU DO??!!!""

He ignored Jou's babbling in the background.

Feeling satisfied at the mayhem his joshing had caused, the tall brunet swiped the chibi-blond and left the cafe.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. My brain is sluggish at the moment. Hopefully I will be able to update soon. 


	10. A Prelude REWRITE!

STANDARD DISCLAIMERS STILL APPLICABLE (there has GOT to be an easier way to do this!! Hahahaha... just lazy I guess) 

THIS IS A REWRITE!!!! (Because the previous Chapter 10 sucked like nothing else!!!! I hated it!!!! -runs far far away and hides underground-)

Well enough angsting... I like this chapter much better and I hope you will too. I agree with **Clarity2199**. the former chapter wasn't really all that funny or enjoyable... It was just so-so... oh well. If you guys liked the previous chapter better... uh I'll guess I'll put in both chapters as alternate versions or something.

WOW-ZA! I hit 100 reviews!!! Thank you! thank you so much you guys. I am really happy and slightly shocked (but I'll get over it -winks-)!! Hopefully I can deliver the goods!!!

To **DreamTimeTales**: It's actually a combination of technology and Pegasus' mojo.

To **casaragi**: I'm not doing a crossover with YGO. I'm thinking more along the lines of a jutsu gone wrong. Over done, I know, but maybe I can still think of a twist or something.

To **Mabuchi Kana**: It actualy started with some random KaiJou fanart I saw over the internet. The pictures were really cute and fluffy... so I started imagining random scenes of "what-ifs"... and then boom it just came to me.

I think I injected this thing with the right amount of fluff and hints... hehehehe

* * *

CHAPTER 10 

Kaiba blinked.

Sure enough something blond, and shaggy was in front of him, in his Mansion, in his kitchen, with a ridiculous chicken-yellow costume and a lopsided chef's hat.

He blinked again for good measure. "What are you doing in MY house?"

Jou spluttered at him. "Ya called me out, man, so here I am. Dun tell me you forgot. Coz' that is so not funny." He held up a grocery bag for the blue eyed CEO's inspection. "This stuff ain't cheap ya know and the beef cuts I got from my friend are the choicest."

The fog from Kaiba's min slowly lifted. Really, Saturdays were the official days of his brain's death. "I wasn't being serious." he muttered under his breath, not really sure how to react.

Warm brown eyes shot him a look. "What? Didja say sumthin'?"

The tall brunet considered telling him to get out, but his personal chef had the day off, Mokuba was sorta still irked at him and he couldn't cook to save his life. He could coerce Mini-Jou but he doubted the short-stuff could handle cooking a full-grown man's lunch and then some. He was starving.

And Jou had beef.

He could stay.

And cook.

It was all for the beef.

The taller of the two tipped his head back in arrogance. "This better be good, mutt."

"Yeah, yeah." Jou muttered dismissively. "Can't really figure out why I'm doin' this..."

"How did you get in anyway? Security would not have let anyone through without permission." Kaiba asked him, refraining form insulting the blond. He couldn't very well allow the dog to poison his meal now, would he?

The better cook rifled through his groceries and started arranging them according to his needs. "Oh... called Mokie and 'fessed up."

"Actually, Jou's the one doing us a favor." the younger Kaiba strolled in, smiling. "I'm tired of take out and he's a great cook. He's responsible for the flabs in my tummy." he stuck his tongue out at Jou, playfully.

"S'not my fault yer gobblin' up my cookin', now is it?" the chef teased back. He then directed his attention to the cans of mushroom. "Hey chibi-Kaiba we all set?"

The cans parted and out came the tiny replica of the CEO, in the same butterball suit as his Owner and a chef's hat of the right size plopped on his head.

Jou laughed, delighted. "Looks good on you, buddy."

The CEO eyed his counterpart. "..."

"It's a chef suit?"

"I know that, mutt. I meant WHY is he wearing that? And where did you get the outfit anyway?"

The blond blushed. "Well, I thought it would be kinda cool to have matching wearables y'know? I asked Anzu and Dice-boy for help with the stuff and yeah... 'sides it kinda gets boring staring at the white trenchcoat... uh no offense, Kaib'."

"Hmm."

"Hey, Mokie, what's that yellow stuff sticking out of you jacket pocket?" Jou inquired, as he leaned toward a mop of wheat colored fur.

Hazel eyes widened and there came a puff of defeat from the tween. "Note to self: new hiding place for mini-pets." he mumbled before digging in and revealing the blond something. "I guess this was a long time coming anyway."

Kaiba uttered disbelievingly. "Don't tell me..."

"Hey, it's not my fault, 'niisan! You pre-ordered him for me, so this time I get to keep him." Mokuba whined, patting the chibi-Egyptian on his head with an index finger.

"Uh... which one is he?" the blond cook asked, wary. "No offense... had enough of the nutters, y'know."

"None taken. This is chibi-Malik."

The mini-Tombkeeper looked up with innocent, hopeful lavender eyes, before waving a little. "He says it's nice to meet you." its Owner translated. Mokie cast an unsure glance at his brother. He was slightly afraid that his brother would steal his mini-pet away from him again, so he made a beeline for the entertainment room to get it together and formulate a "Keep-Chibi-Malik-Plan" if need be.

Seto Kaiba wavered as he followed his brother with his gaze. He had been waiting to patch things up with Mokie, but he was slightly apprehensive of leaving Jou alone in his kitchens.

He watched the blond chef going about his business; the mutt's little elf dashing over the marble countertops, pushing and shoving utensils in place. His chibi-self must have sensed his gawking, for it looked up, with beady little eyes that impossibly narrowed further.

The small thing stopped its work, stood up arrogantly with feet spread wide apart. With a mocking grin, it raised its right hand and shooed its Original.

A vein popped up on Seto's forehead. "You little SNOT!?"

"What?! Kaiba? What the hell's eatin' you??!!!" shocked, and a slightly injured Jou whined at him.

"Not YOU." Kaiba growled as he hastened to Chibi-Kaiba's post. "I was referring to this insuferrable asshole!"

And Jou just had to laugh at that. "It really is amazing how ya' can describe yerself so perfectly, ya bastard!"

"Quiet, mutt!!!"

The threat galvanized Chibi-Kaiba further as he madly gestured his thoughts to his Original.

"Don't speak to MY Owner that way!" Jou voiced out, making his voice squeaky enough so that it would be appropriate for Chibi-Kaiba's size. "Besides, even if you're the Original, you're still much more of an insufferable asshole than me!!"

Seto could only gape at him. The blond just shrugged.

"Twas' kinda unfair for ya to yellin' at someone without a voice ya know, I just sorta evened the odds..."

"... Sometimes Jounouchi... sometimes..." Kaiba mumbled while shaking his head in amazement. His previous rage was apparently forgotten. Jou had to be either cute or stupid.. and right now, Kaiba neither had the mental nor emotional will power to differentiate the two.

"Since yer little warfare is over, scooch over to Mokie and talk, ok? He's great and all, but he's eatin' us outta house and home."

Kaiba raised a brow. "So that's where he sneaks off to during meal times. Out of house and home you say." he kept his voice neutral. "I shall be prepared to properly reimburse whatever Mo ---"

And Chibi-Kaiba was doing some sort of seizure-like dance. It crossed his arms and shook its head frantically.

"It's ok, Kaiba. I like cooking for mah friends. It's one thing I'm really good at. And I like makin' them happy." there was a rosy flush on those tan cheeks.

His smaller self flopped down in obvious relief. He lay down comfortably, but gave his Original two thumbs up.

The CEO left with a short "Hn", seemingly unaffected. But inside he felt warm.

It's not everyday that your "mortal enemy" indirectly declared you a friend worth slaving away in the kitchens for and actually mean it.

-

-

Several things alerted the lax CEO to the fact that lunch was taking an incredibly long time to be served. He had already had a heart to heart with his brother; agreed to have Chibi-Malik around PROVIDED the thing didn't go ballistic and now, his tummy was growling with need.

He frowned, heading for the kitchen.

Not even a whiff of anything being cooked.

No sign of the mutt either.

The lines on his handsome face deepened sourly.

Was this some sort of gag from the mutt? he wondered. If it was, retribution would be swift, brutal and unmerciful...

And the silver-gilded salt shaker that smashed his foot was swift, brutal and unmerciful as well.

Swallowing his urge to scream obscenities, regal blue eyes blazed at his mini-self. "What was THAT for?" he rumbled deep in his throat.

Chibi-Kaiba was in a quandary. His stubborn Original refused to learn Chibi-speak and now he had no idea how to convey that his Owner was in trouble. Throwing away its composure, it jumped up and down; his face pinched and his tiny self tense. It flapped its arms in the direction of the walk-in refridgerator.

"I wish these things could just SPEAK!" Kaiba rubbed his temples. "It would save most of us the trouble." He eyed his tiny self again. "what was it? In the cooler??"

The tiny pet let out a huff as it waggled its head furiously.

"Well why didn't you say so in the first place?" Its Original grinned waspishly, knowing his words would irk the chibi.

Kaiba sauntered until he heard a weak whimper, coming directly from behind the steel door of his walk-in cooler. "JOU?! Mutt! "

Hurriedly, the tall brunet yanked open the heavy door, his reflexes allowing him to catch the shaking blond.

-

-

Both Kaibas (well two and a pint-sized one) were glad that the incident with Jou hadn't been serious. The blond hadn't known that the Kaiba-patented meat locker automatically sealed itself after 15 mintues and had thus walked in into the slightly constricting space looking for some ground pork; spaced out and unaware that he took longer than he should.

Of course Jou's reaction to the rather humorous experience didn't add up.

Huddled over a fire in the middle of the pluch Kaiba den, swaddled in comforters and drowned in Chibi-Kaiba's kisses and coos was one STILL shivering blond chef.

The brunet frowned as a sudden thought entered his mind. It had been at least 30 minutes already and the mutt was still "zoned". Sure being swamped by bloodied animal flesh for a few minutes wasn't a pleasant experience, but enough was enough... the dog was probably milking this experience for all it was worth.

Kaiba had even smooshed his manly pride and held unto the butter-yellow-mutt. That was of course, to keep the other boy warm.

... moving on.

The frown evolved into something darker.

It wouldn't be the first time an... acquaintance... exaggerated certain accidents just so they could sue him for millions.

Jou looked up at him with apologetic eyes, as if hearing him. "Thanks, Kaib'. And I'm really sorry for ruinin' lunch. I'll promise I'll make it up to ya guys, ok?" He bowed his shaggy head and shrunk into the blankets more, while running his finger over Chibi-Kaiba's head every now and then.

Seriously,the rich man just had to ask if the little clingy, whiny snot, was a copy of him. The CEO had half a mind to flay Pegasus for this!

Seto Kaiba would never in a million years enjoy the mutt's intimate carresses on his person.

EVER!!!!!

Of course holding Jou was another matter entirely...

Fueled by his inane thoughts, Kaiba was about to make a spectacularly harsh comment when his little brother traipsed in, his Chibi-Malik comfortable perched on his rat's nest of a hair; in his grasp two big boxes of pizza and a liter of soda. "Hey, Jou, you had a bad scare didn't you? How are you feeling now?"

"I'm fine, Mokie. Thanks fer askin'." The blond was going to say more; opening and closing his mouth a few times before gulping. "I know I'm over-reactin' and stuff... but I'm kinda afraid of small spaces... and yeah..."

Both brothers blinked.

This was new.

Jou was claustrophobic.

And the elder Kaiba was really glad that he hadn't chewed the mutt's head off. Phobias were something he could whole heartedly relate to.

Chibi-Malik suddenly stood up from his seat, slid down Mokie's jump-shorts and unto the floor. He began jiggling here and there; fast to agitated. The tiny Tomb-Keeper pointed an accusing finger at Kaibe before letting its mouth fall into a grim line.

Two disbelieving eyes stared at the impassive CEO.

"What?" Kaiba demanded.

Mokuba spoke. "Nii-sama, you didn't!!"

"I demand to see mini-me right now!!" Angry brown eyes flashed.

"Fine. Go ahead, mutt." The tallest of the them answered nonchalantly. "Second floor, 7th door on the right." He calmly crossed his arms and sent wave after wave of death threats at the tiny tattle-tale.

Jounouchi, in a flash, bounded up the stairs, growling about "stupid rich moneybags with Frankenstein tendencies". Mokuba followed too, making sure to grab both Chibi-Kaiba and Chibi-Malik.

The smart brunet knew what they were thinking as he docilely followed them to his not-so-secret lab.

What if Jounouchi's claustrophobia carried over to his tiny replica?

And if it did prove true, then the Mini-pets were more revolutionary than Kaiba first thought.

Anticipation pooled in the CEO's guts.

The previous warm, fuzzy and slightly guilty feelings sailed away freely from his analytic mind.

He just had to find out!

-

-

DAMN Kaiba and his information hungry ways!!!!

Sorry if it took so look... but I just really couldn't find the necessary inspiration to continue... and I was in a funk because I think the previous chapter wasn't all that good.

Anyway, please read and review!!!!


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